its a new chapter;

testing testing...
ok peepz, here i am updating since for such a long time didnt update!
been busy..very busy!
no leisure time for myself.. haiz.

well last saturday 26th may was ATRIKA DANCE FEST.
TOO BAD i cant mk it to perform last minute..
sorie u guys! esp abg.. hmm..
i noe i shuldnt do that but becoz i wasnt able to attend dian's last prac coz it clashes wif warisan's rehearsal.
*sigh*
but i did come down to support tau! heh..
came down wif kak marina,adel,noshin & abg murah.
meet the other warisan juniors there....

wow! dian menang costume seh! hahs.. so greenie & glamorous of all!
weeeee......
the rest of the dance grp??
hmm... juz normal.
and very proud of the dance.NICE!

Aftr watching the show went for supper wif kak marina,adel and noshin.
firstly,abg adel didnt noe wat and where to eat..
since we saw the nearest mac kat boon keng mrt.we sat there and eat..
masing2 order teppanyaki meal..
disaat kita menikmati juadah tu kan
abg adel suddenly said," i feel like eating sup kambing!"

i was like stunned! padahal burger belom habis seh..abeh dier nk makan sup kambing pulak..
and kak ina was like actually dun wanna eat animore pasal dier nk lose weight..heh.
but den abg adel was like influencing us! eeeeergghh!
so he rushed us to finish up the burger and fries and we're off to boon keng ville hawker ctr where they serves best selling SUP KAMBING!
i was damn full oredi and he ordered 3 bowls of sup kambing!
he seriously force me to eat..but seriously the temptation is there! haha..
as wat kak ina said.. "kita masing2 dah terpedaya oleh adel!" hahaha...
"dan kita akan bertekad akan berpantang 44 hari!" hahah..

omg! i think i oredi put on weight! haha.. gonna lose weight by hook or by crook.
aftr eating our sup,they sent me home.
dlm kereta tu,terciptalah ilham dan concept utk kita buat for SYUKUR 10 SRI WARISAN,which will be on the 19th august!
tak sabar rasanya..heh..

as soon as i reached home,cleaned up myself and started zzzzzzzzzzzz......
hahs. tired sgt2..

SUNDAY,27TH MAY..
TUNAS BERSENI @ taman warisan.

had our normal show in the morning..
at ard noon,kita buat staging and run thru for the production.
to tell ya guys the truth,i wasnt prepared! hah..
tapi kena confident jugak larh kan..

elly and abg yazid came down to watch..
thanks eh! hehs..
and kak marina's back for performing setelah sekian lama tak menari! hehe..
before show,we oredi started camwhoring! kekekke....
luckily kita nye last item.

aftr show,went to watch movie wif a fren..
awak,thanks ya for the movie..hehhe...(u noe who u are...)

and that sums up my day...
toodles!

Yest,met up rad for some chilling session for juz a short while..
had our dinner cum lunch..
there were many things that we talked abt..
jln2 ard tamp sambil window shopping..hahs.
takut nk blanja lagi coz will over spent! heh..

saw a colleage of mine who used to werk together wif me..but i didnt werk there anymore.
she told me somehing...which made me opened up my eyes wide and became stunned at a moment!
she told me abt U! yes u! u noe who u are...
wat?...clubbing? ....MOS?
WOAH!
SINCE WEN U CLUBBED MY FREN?
gi masjid? pandai bersyarah depan kawan2... tahu erti dosa dan agama..
pandai kutuk org yg pergi tempat2 yg tak berfaedah.. but wat the heck?!!?!?!?

U WENT THERE?!

Hhahhaa... dunia ni nk terbalik agaknya ke?!
hey! to think i've respected U and ACCEPT FOR WHO U ARE BEFORE, Im obviously BLIND!
Tot u've changed for the better and U'VE CHANGE FOR THE WORST! A DISASTER!
nvr did i expect that u would change so drastically!

WAT HAPPEN?!
UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED...

I know dat everyone's not perfect..and i know myself well to..
im still the same old zila...
but U?! U HATED CLUBBERS dan KAU KUTUK DORG.. TAPI KAU PERGI?!
hahhaa... HYPOCRITEZ!

and i cried?haha.. i cried becoz the person i respected most,i admired before,HAS CHANGED FOR THE WORST! Even my bestie rad didnt expect u to turn out to be a disaster! a hypocrite!

from now onwards,who ever u are(u noe lah urself)...
is someone dat i dun used to noe before.
u are a completely new person whom i dun gv a respect anymore..
i dunno u at all!
Tuhan dan tunjukkan aku wat kind of person u are...
Alhamdulillah... sekurang-kurangnya zila takkan terhegeh-hegeh lagi menunggu sesuatu jawapan kerana bukti telah nyata..

now,ur juz a new fren i've make.
i wont lose anything if u wanna ignore me coz ur not a somebody to me!
UR JUZ A TOTAL STRANGER or mayb juz A FREN!... GET IT?

all the best in ur new life!
a whole full of hypocritez!

to rad,thanks for accompanying me out yest.
terima kasih kerana temankan aku jln kaki dari tampines ke pasir ris eh..
pasal tak sanggup nk naik bus dgn keadaan begitu...u noe i noe lah rad eh.
haiz..

to dat sumone,I TOTALLY GIVE UP ON U!
GET A LIFE!
U 'VE TOTALLY CHANGE FOR THE WORST!
I DUN GIVE A CARE OR A DAMN ABT U ANYMORE!
IM JUZ WASTING MY TIME!

IM BACK AGAIN!
yest's dian fest was the first step for Dian's grp to be introduced to the public..
walaupun baru 3 tahun,dan masih merangkak...tak sangka ramai yg turun.
nk kata kan full house beb! hahs..

those who i've known who came down to support: My mum,sis,aunties,cuzzie kak nor and abg ahmat,cuzzie tania,tiara & muhaidi...
my fren cum colleagues: marina,adel and cutie noshin,abg murah,hambali,ira,huda,ayune and yandi,some of my juniors in sri warisan..
THANK U FOR UR SUPPORT!~~~
Fahmi & Sofian,thanks for coming down too... buat susah je..hehs.
dan juga yg lain2 yg tak sempat saya ucapkan..

well..a bit of mistakes here and there but we managed to cover up though.
but atleast we enjoyed ourselves..
abg yazid was full of tears even before the show was started...hahs..
abg..terharu eh?heh..
the show ended quite early though...
but it was a gud experience for the ppl who was juz begining to learn how to conduct a production..
SYABAS SEMUA!

Those performing grps: PERKUMPULAN SENI(PS), AYUNDA LESTARI, ATRIKA DANCE COMPANY and SENI NAK TARI (TP),Hope we can werk together again...

Upcoming production?

Atrika Dance Fest
26th May
Time: 7pm
TIX @ $5
@ Kolam Ayer CC

Tunas Berseni - Sri Warisan
27th May
Time: 3pm
tix @ $5
@TAMAN WARISAN MELAYU (MALAY HERITAGE CENTRE)

So sapa2 yg nk tix,sila lah ye hubungi saya..
looking forward to ur support!

well..thats for now..
will upload the pics soon aite.
toodles*

okay ppl..
life has been getting on hectic lately..
been having rehearsals and prac throughout dis wk!
i wanna have a break can?!
lol...

Let me share wif ya wats my schedule like during the last few days;

Mon: werk (office)9-6pm
Dian Prac 7-10pm

Tues: werk (office) 9-6pm
Dian Prac 7-9.30pm

Wed: werk (show)10-12
(facilitator @taman warisan) 1.30pm-3pm
(office) 3-6pm
Sri Warisan Rehearsal 7.30-9.30pm

Thurs: werk(office) 9-6pm
Dian Prac 7-9.30pm

Fri: werk (9-6pm)
Sri Warisan prac 7.30-9.30pm

hahaha... how?best?
lol..
and dis cough and flu is getting on my nerves!
its oredi dragging for 4 days and
fever is on its way... ah!
bila nk off?hmmm....
nxt wk will also be the same i guess coz
TUNAS BERSENI PRODUCTION will be on the 27th May &
ATRIKA DANCE FEST wil be on the 26th May...

and tmrw?
hahha...
will be DIAN'S first PRODUCTION, EXPRESSSI.....
So sapa2 yg belom dpt kan ticket terhad,jgn lepaskan peluang ini..
ticket2 semua hampir kehabisan kalau tak book cepat2 tau..kekkeke...
its only 3 DOLLARS!

OK lah ppl... dats all k.
take care of ur health and dun end up like me!
adios....

yup yup ppl..
im begining to stand on my feet again.

yest,usual taman show at 3pm and i reach bugis veri early..kekkee.
walk around bugis alone,finding stuff..
mak oi.. zila shopping sorg ke??hehe...

at ard 1 plus,singgah masjid sultan for my zuhur prayers..
sat in the mosque for nearly an hour?hmm..
i felt a bit peace at last.. God knows the feeling im in.. haiz..
well,aftr that went straight to taman warisan. had skipped proper lunch..hehe, so
bought some pastries at INDULGE, and had it before starting of show.

ard 4 plus,show ends and we're back in the office.
tot Noshin was in the office coz i oredi brought her prezzie..
but kak marina sai.. "Noshin tadi pagi skola... balik rumah nenek.."
owww... den nvm larh.. juz passed it to kak ina first.
did some script for international museum day.. i typed while abg adel dictate.
dah lama eh tak type cepat2.. ahhaahah...
mcm betul jek zila..
hhheehehe....

went for dinner kat tekka blakang with adel,marina,huda,hambali and ira.
tu baru me dpt makan proper meal..
ard 7.30pm,went back to sri warisan studio for our Tunas berseni practice..
mak oi.. baru 2 kali tak dtg prac aku dah lupa2 steps.. haha..
takpe2.. nasib show lagi 1 minggu je.. hahha...
ard 9 plus,we ended our training..
adel and marina sent me and huda home.

and dat sums up my day..
going to Monfort sec aftr this entry! kekkee..
got aRTS Education Programe for their assembly period there..
toodles ppl!

to the person concerned,
thanks for that honest confession and an answer that u wont be able to commit..
to refresh ur mind,kindly

clicked here

thank you.

regards,

Zila.

Penaku menari mencoretkan
Sebuah puisi kelukaan
Gurindam jiwaCinta dan airmata
Di kamar hati ini
Masih ada sembunyi
Kenangan yang tak mampuKu lemparkan jauh

Penaku menari melakarkan
Gambar kesayuan masa silam
Tinta bersulam biruWarna kerinduan
Berkaca jernih ingatanku
Biarpun dikau telah jauh
Dari pandanganku

Manisnya pertemuan,Pahitnya perpisahan
Segala kini tidak dapat Untukku bahasakan....
Semua kini kaku,Tiada lagu merdu
Setiap madah, baris kata
Bukannya lagi buatmu

Kini berteman sepi
Kini aku sendiri
Suka dan duka,Dalam meniti gelombang Kembara panjang
Jauh melangkah pergi
Tidak menoleh lagi...
Kenangan silamku,Tinggal tertulis kini...
Dalam sebuah puisi..........

Penaku menari membariskan
Puisi sebuah pengalaman
Gurindam jiwa cinta dan airmata
Di kamar sepi ini
Titisan membasahi
Dan aku tidak tahu,Pada siapakah....
untukku luah rasa...

why??
why must u appear only now?
the feelings i tried to show u now were fake.
i pretend to be strong.i pretend to be wat i am suppose not to..
i did it becoz i dun wish to get myself hurt.
i did it becoz im trying to cover up the strong feelings that i had towards u last time.
i did it becoz i dun want to break this friendship.
i did it becoz i treasure u from the start we get to know each other.
and lastly,
i did it becoz i accept u for who u are.
watever ppl say abt u,i put it aside..
becoz... haiz..*sigh*

i treasure those moments we became friends though im puzzled why u appeared now?
u claimed that u treated me different from the rest.
u showed me care,concern and like wat u used to treat me when we were once together.
but at times,u will be hurting me wif ur sarcastic werds...
and it felt hurt for me..
i wanna ask,is it wrong for me to feel hurt wif all those sarcastic remarks?
im a human,with feelings...thats a gift from Tuhan yg maha esa...
tapi perlu ke hati seseorang disakiti dgn sengaja?
u mean i dun have the rights to feel sad wen im hurt?
to feel down wen u kp saying something sarcastically everytime we meet?

till wen will u stop doing this to me?
i tried to put up a brave front..
i tried to hide those tears...
and its not some fake tears that u claimed it was.
it was those tears that make me kp asking..have i loved the wrong person?
have the person ever wondered how much i treasure those sweet moments?
has he ever wondered how much i suffered wen ppl badmouth abt me,spreading untrue stories?
has he ever wondered how strong my feelings were,and didnt even change abit since the first day we met?
has he ever wondered why this gerl still kept the stuffs that was once given?
has he ever think all this?
at times i wondered whether he has ever tink abt me...
has he ever treasured those sweet memories...
arguments and quarels are part of human's lives..
we have to accept each others flaws..and dats precisely what im doing rite now.
i put aside ur dark history..coz i know u will change for the better..
but till now,u havent..and to my stubborness,i still am waiting....
but to my realisation,i finally remembered wat ur fren told me...
he told me this...
"ur juz waiting in vain...."
true enuf.. i am.
tapi kenapa??
kenapa saya tak move on?
ikutkan situasi ini,ikutkan perasaan ini...
mmg saya nak...tapi kenapa masih belom berganjak??
pernah tak awak berfikir?
saya rasa tidak...
kerana dari dulu,awak tak pernah ada perasaan keprimanusiaan..
saya diibaratkan terdampar seorang diri disebuah lautan yg jauh dari pemandanganmu..
wen u did a mistake once,u will nvr realise it and mk me wait to solve it myself.
and the next day u will pretend nothing happen...
aftr that u did ur mistake again,and again...
and thats ur daily routine.
u mk me wait for an answer.

now,wen u claimed u treat me different from the rest,i asked u why..
and u answered?
"i dunno..."
is dat an answer from a ** yr old?
is dat an answer from a claimed-matured person?
im confused!

to tell u the truth i missd those moments wen we laugh,joke around and u seem so nice..
but wen u ultimately change,i felt miserable.
i juz dunno why..
i ju dunno why i can still accept u as my 'fren' although u've changed for the bad side..
its all becoz of u!
u mk me realise all those wonderful moments...
u mk me appreciate those sacrifices...
and i did it till now!
for goodness sake...
why zila?
i kp asking myself every single night w/o fail..
there's still isnt an answer yet..
*sigh*

Ya Allah...
tabahkan lah semangat aku...
berikan lah aku kekuatan utk ku teruskan kehidupan seperti sedia kala...
kuatkan lah iman ku...
luruskan lah jalanku yg penuh badai..
hapuskan dan kering kan lah airmata sekiranya ia menitis tidak terhenti2 kerana memikirnya...
semoga dia bahagia bersama org yang ditentukan utk nya...

to all,i know this post is kinda long and full or emotions...
and ya..its unlike me to put up dis kind of post coz zila dah lama simpan..
i juz cant stand it anymore....i have to let it out.
mungkin kerana dah terlalu bnyk simpan dlm hati,dan kesabaran ini ada batasannya...

to the person concern,i hope ur happy wif ur decision.
i will pray for ur happiness and dat u will find one day.
though this heart has been damaged,it takes time for it to heal...
kalau nyawa ni satu hari ditarik, forgive me for all dat i've done.
manusia tak lepas dari kesilapan.
but if dis flaws u still kp in anger,erase me from ur life.
pretend that u never me me before...

till dat,
i end my post for today.
to the others,
treasure ur loved ones selagi dorg ada..
coz
"U DUNNO WAT U'VE GOT TILL ITS GONE..."

heylo ppl..

ok dokie. sorie for the lack of updates...

been busy for the past few days...

2 big task to complete in this mth..

1st is Dian upcoming festival,EXPRESI...

20th May..

tix @ 3 buckz onli! held at kallang cc..

sapa2 yg nk dtg tgk, tag me for tix ya...

2nd is Sri Warisan Production, Lestari Seni - Tunas Berseni

27th May..

tix at 15 buckz ya.. held at Taman warisan melayu..

and for those who dunno know or yet to see my hair,i have cut it! lol...

first time aftr 2 yrs been keeping it long..

and now i wanna have a neat and fresh look can can??

hehe...

Last 3 days watch movie wif Fahmi,Jangan Pandang belakang..

the review??hahs.. cant tell u.. must watch it baru ade feel..lol.

kelakar seram seh.. bnyk scene yg mengejutkan and i salute the sound effects!

awesome! serious.. go watch it lah k.

today,was supposedly my 2 yrs anni wif him..

but didnt expect him to wish me this morning and also asked me out for dinner later..

thanks ya for the offer but so sorie im having rehearsal.

not my fault hor..coz last wk u told me u going gym wif ur fren and ur not meeting me whole of dis wk..i oredi plan my schedule.

and now ur telling me last minute! alamak dekni kan.. lol...

hahs.takpelah.. lain kali jer ehk..

later going for Dian.. gonna hv intensive rehearsal..

as i mention earlier on,sapa yg nk tix bilang cepat2 tau k.

a great offer not going to be miss!

oredi so cheap..and dun tell me to gv discount hor..

hehs..

kak marina and abg adel siang2 dah book..

baguss...

ok ppl..

thats it for now..

looking forward to your support in these production..

take care!